Posts Tagged ‘Brisan’

4 Years Has Gone By Fast

Today marks 4 years at 1:55 am since you went to heaven, Bubbas. I feel we will write similar messages every year on your anniversary of your physical passing. Your joyful spirit and curious gestures were always something me and Mom reflect upon and cherish. You always had to have a finger or two in your mouth at all times!

We would say this was the hardest day of our life up until that point. It was so very much “not real” because we never left you at the hospital by yourself. Me or Mom were always there to be right by your side. Reflecting back to the day before on March 3rd, we could have never imagined this is what your homecoming would have looked like. Your passing was glorious in one right to the promises God has given us but it also invited a void that reality swept in and kicked us right in the teeth to learn how to cope without you here. It is an ongoing battle of grieving.

We all miss you and Parker dearly Brisan! I know Duncan sure does as well. I know you didn't get a chance to meet Rubee but we know she would have endeared you.

For all the things that we “dreamed” for your life here on earth, you showed us that we could love unconditionally that no one can just script.

I recall as I stood next to you on that hospital bed after you took your last breath, holding your hand, and crying looking upward towards heaven…. it felt so real. I felt you run up by my side and give me a big hug… a kind that I had to throw my right elbow up and over you so I could embrace you as back. Then you “ran” off like you were going to play. You had the biggest smile on your face… the kind that we so much remember before NPC took that away. It was so real feeling.

Me and Mommy love you.

Jennifer with Brisan and Parker

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Happy 13th Birthday Brisan!

Brisan's Last Birthday

The big 13th Brisan! Happy Birthday!

This marks your 4th birthday since you have went Home. Gosh, time just fly's by but the pain and hurt of losing you (and Parker) is still a very fresh wound for all of us. It has completely rocked our world and just when we thought having/had a rare disease was life changing, the grieving side of things has equally done the same to all of us. It has altered our hearts and minds in ways that frankly we couldn't wish upon anyone losing a child.

Me and Mom have talked about what you'd be “into” being in middle school and what some of your interests may be. You'd be in 7th grade this year and Parker in 6th grade.

We are so proud and honored to be your parents. I know Duncan misses you a bunch and that you never had the opportunity to meet Rubee, Mia and Anna but we sure hope you are having one heck of a party up there!

Mommy posted this on FB:

Today Brisan would of been 13 years old. A teenager, a 7th grader and our oldest boy. There are honestly no words to describe what it is like to not have you here with us. Happy Birthday sweet Bubbas. We love and miss you very much. You and Parker have forever changed our lives.

We love and miss you bubbas!

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Adoption and Hopefully Our Last “Firsts”

Our lives as many of you are aware has changed drastically the past 19 months. We lost Brisan March 4, 2014 and then Parker on January 23, 2015. During this time we had always been Foster Parents and cared for a few handfuls of children the past 3 years. We had one little girl come into our home August 1, 2014 named Rubee. Through a long process and even challenging times because of our grieving, we officially adopted her into our home on October 9, 2015.

Rubee's Adoption Oct 9 2015

Wait.. what?

Many of you also think we are beyond crazy. That is ok because to some extreme you have to be. You have to be extreme in your thinking, heart, and faith that God has a plan for your life and it doesn't always include “you” as the main subject. Here we are in the midst of grieving and we were called to adopt this little girl. This wasn't any ordinary little girl either.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Happy 11th Birthday Brisan!

Happy 11th Birthday Brisan!

We miss you Bubbas! Today, we are going to celebrate your 2nd birthday in Heaven! We look forward to seeing one day again! It is so hard to imagine but you'd be a big 5th grader this year! We are just floored on the idea that if Niemann-Pick Type C wasn't apart of your life…what could have been. What you'd sound like, things you'd love most to do, and the things that would have interested you with you and your friends.

We miss you but most importantly Love You! You and Parker are so loved by many. Party hard Bubbas!

Brisan sampling his birthday cake back in 2009

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Father’s Day

They would only work for "smarties" that day

Father's Day for many is a joyous celebration of their pops. For some, it brings heartache that their father is no longer here. For others, it serves as a painful reminder that there was no father to fill that role.

Being a Father comes in different variations and terms. That person sometimes is not your biological father but a man who stepped up and helped fill that role. A Father is someone who loves unconditionally to a fault no matter what circumstance may present itself.

Father's & Mother's day in the Stults household has a new meaning. As of writing this, we still have both of our parents alive but with the gaping hole that we are missing Brisan & Parker, our first & second born. They each made it to 9 years of age respectively. The moto of “They only have a childhood to live a lifetime” has spoke volumes to us and so THEY DID. An unbelievable stamp of reality with bookends to mark a precious time in our lives that we will never get to experience again until our heavenly meeting.

On Father's Day, June 21, 2015…marks our first of many without our two oldest boys. In retrospect, we have much to celebrate in Duncan. He has been a caring & compassionate trooper. We love him so dearly. At a young age he had to take a bit of a back seat while we took care of his brothers. He had to watch his parents care for them in a way that many of his friends would never understand. He had to learn to “grow” up being the big brother when his role was the youngest brother. He missed out on his brother's “roughing” him up and teaching him the ropes but THEY DID. They taught him compassion, caring and understanding… to LOVE.

Being a Father has always been significant to me because it produced a bond of Love that could never be manufactured otherwise. I couldn't possibly realize the feeling without the experience of my own children. I can also say in the same breathe that losing two children in a short time also solidifies that deep Love. I think that Love is similar to what our God has for us. He died for our sins and made us a promise that if we endure during the difficult times and ask forgiveness of our sins that we will be with Him again in Heaven forever. We know Brisan and Parker are celebrating with Him. He's made that abundantly clear to us through the small glimpses of hope.

I've always looked at Father's Day as just one day out of the year of being a Dad. I knew being a Dad to Brisan & Parker after August 2008 was going to be numbered physically on earth. I am so proud that I was chosen to be their earthly Dad. It was such an incredible honor that God felt that we could take care of them for their short time on earth.

Be patient with your children while loving them and understand that their life and your life can be very abbreviated. Be awaken to the reality that perfection isn't always achievable.

Love them…take care of them….hold them tight. Spend that extra 2 minutes you'd otherwise postpone. Know that although you will try this and fail, you get up and dust yourself off to try it again. Life isn't about perfection but the ability to fail forward.

Love you Brisan & Parker. Thank you for loving me in all the ways you were able to show.

 

 

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Easter & 41 Action News

Just a few things in April

Brisan & Parker Limo Ride

Easter came and went but it wasn't the same. Our first with both of them not here. We have came full circle of learning of a horrible disease and then living through the years knowing Brisan & Parker would one day succumb to the inevitable. No matter how much you think about what that “may look like”, it never is and the pain is more real than you could ever imagine. I don't think we are meant to know what that pain beforehand is really like because it would be crippling. Why take away the good before it all has to happen. Your soul cries out for that need of comfort when you are no longer able to hold them close physically. Me,& Jenn miss those dudes! Duncan talks about them frequently.

Thank you Lexi & KSHB 41 Action News

On April 23, 2015, Lexi Sutter and 41 Action News were so kind to reach out and do a story about our family! We are always blown away with the generosity of others. Here is the link to the story and video below. They did a wonderful job and we are so proud of the time they invested to put this together. We are grateful and hope it is just a little piece of !!!


Youtube Link: https://youtu.be/Lw2w9aBn5Io

Story Link:

http://www.kshb.com/news/local-news/missouri-family-copes-with-loss-of-two-sons-by-helping-others?autoplay=true

 

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