Posts Tagged ‘Brisan Stults’

3 Years Brisan – Still Feels Like Yesterday

3 years ago marks a fairly large amount of time but this morning at 1:55 am you took the express route home to Jesus! It still feels like yesterday to us Brisan. We so deeply miss you guys. March 3rd was the last snow day of the 2013-2014 school year. Duncan was off with his little buddy Keagan at the library enjoying his day talking about wrestling with Jesus. Little did he or us know that those plans were shaping up for your homecoming a little after midnight.

We are so grateful that we were able to capture your last morning laughing and being “Brisan” on video. Although you were just getting better off a small eye cold and seemed a bit “weezy”, you sure were in a super happy mood leading up to your last earthly day.

Shortly after all was said and done for your time on earth, our main wall clock randomly stopped at about the same time as you went Home. Ironic? Still 3 years later we have not touched and replaced the battery. It feels like something we shouldn’t do!

Our heartaches in ways we cannot ever express in words with the void that we all feel deep down inside. The what if’s of what would life be like if this never was apart of our lives (NPC) for you, Parker, and the whole family. Our family make-up would be vastly different. We secretly wonder to ourselves what kind of things you’d like to be doing for fun as a kid?

We can take away a lot from the grieving we have experienced and will continue to do so. We realize that life is short in the grand scheme of all things through this experience of losing you and Parker.

Psalm 34:18 New International Version (NIV)

18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

We went to your favorite place today to eat “cocoons” and Anna ate “peas and carrots”!

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Happy 12th Birthday Brisan!

Brisan happy smiling 2009
August 27, 2016 – Today little Bubbas we will celebrate your 12th birthday in your memory. You’d be starting middle school and that just seems strange to even wrap our minds around the thought of that reality. That reality is also versed with the sadness that you are not physically here to celebrate. Me and mom are consistently reminded of all the memories of your personality and character. Your memories are engrained every where we look in our home.

Three simple words Brisan, “We Love You”.

The ability to physically give you a hug to express our indescribable love for you is a stark check on our emotions…

We will release 12 orange balloons and enjoy some cake. It makes us super sad and most of the time others around us are unable to see our true feelings because of how we have learned how to contain our feelings.

Sometimes at least.

Our hearts are deeply weakened with the jolting grieving we still feel. It’s a life long battle over our grieving for both you and Parker.

2.5 years have passed by which seems insane to think time has kept going on and we are inching further away from when you passed into heaven missing all the memories we took for granted early on that we could have together. We are reminded of the gift of “life” you received free of pain and suffering for you and Parker both.

Hope you have one heck of a party celebrating eternity with your bro up there!

Let's sing you Happy Birthday today!

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Memorial Bench

Brisan & Parker Memorial Bench

It's been a long time coming but we choose NOT to put anything on our website until now regarding Brisan & Parker's memorial bench. For many it was their first time seeing the memorial bench (w/o Parker's name on it) at Parker's funeral. It was completed around the end of November as a surprise (we didn't except them to get it done so quickly.) but we choose to hold off publicly saying much due to an issue of “placement” at the cemetery.

While we were waiting on those arrangements to have it moved, Parker's time had arrived and I sent out a dire email asking for assistance from the memorial company (not of their fault on original placement). It was previously placed on Parker's grave and in the early morning hours of January 23rd, I knew it had to be moved because it seemed evident we were getting close to Parker's homecoming. The cemetery had insisted on the original placement that it did't go “where it currently resides” because it wasn't on the plot map except we did own the spot in it's final position. It sits facing east towards Parker & Brisan, just west of them by only maybe a foot. It is literally right there.

Story of Memorial Bench

Near impossible really. We wanted something that stood out and could be a staple piece to remember our precious boys.

You'll see 5 army men on the base of the seat. 2 on the left and 3 on the right “sneaking” up! Duncan had put 5 army men (1 for each of us) in Brisan's casket and we did the same for Parker.

Brisan loved his best friend “PETE” and Charlie Brown. Parker has his favorite “Chewy” wrist band and Handy Manny! These were a couple favorite things that they enjoyed dearly. Under Brisan's name is “Bubbas” and for Parker, “Stinky”. Each of their nicknames.

The picture in the middle is of Brisan and Parker taken August 2008. We were on the side lawn of our Grain Valley home at that time. We had just received the news of Brisan's diagnosis of Niemann-Pick Type C. We choose to leave the picture “as is”. Brisan is on the left and Parker on the right. We didn't feel it would be right to horizontally flip the picture around so they each were on their respective sides. Embed in the picture is each of their names by their feet so if you didn't know them… would know who is who.

Orange was Brisan's favorite color and green was Parker's. The majority of the design is hand etched.

Thank You to Johnson Granite Supply & YOU!

TO EVERYONE THAT HELPED, THIS IS ALL POSSIBLE BECAUSE OF YOUR KIND DONATIONS AFTER BRISAN PASSED MARCH OF 2014!

No QUESTION about it!

Tripp Johnson of Johnson Granite Supply was referred to us from Hank who helped guide us at the funeral home (Hank was amazing to say the least!). Tripp and his company made us feel warm and welcomed. They really invested time into us to not only extend their condolences but really wanted to deliver an awesome memorial bench. No words can really describe the generosity, time, and investment they made into us to help get this accomplished.

His staff including Kaylee & the artist planned out the design and carefully executed an awesome bench! It stands out like a million dollar car as you enter the cemetery. We would in a second trade it all in to have a few more days with them here on earth but… until we see you dudes again, we LOVE YOU!

We just wanted to say thank you for everyones help and generosity!!!!

 

 

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Brisan, We Miss You Today

Brisan Chocolate Pudding Face

 

Early this morning on March 4th, 2014 we had to make a decision to “let you be” and allow the process of your homecoming take place. There was not a ounce left that could sway your ravaged body from Niemann-Pick Type C any longer. Your destiny and legacy was cemented with a tremendous impactful that goes further than we can measure.

Today we celebrated you and choked back some tears at times facing the reality of the truth that we can no longer physically give you a hug. Your smile and presence infected so many around you in a great way. What an honor to call you our son. We had this unbelievable privilege to be your dad and mom. Your life reminds us all how “little” time we all can have on earth at any given time. Little did we know that Parker would be with you celebrating so “early” after your homecoming with Jesus. We love you Bubbas! We dearly miss Parker. Give him a big wet willy from all us and check his “ear guke”.

To our friends and family… you've been wonderful. You have provided great leeway in handling our emotions and have provided powerful prayer for our family. No words will be able to thank you enough!

I wanted to make sure we posted something small today.

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Autopsy’s In

Brisan Stults' Autopsy

Kissing Bubbas

Did you play the drum roll sound in your head? June 30th we had our meeting regarding the Autopsy of Brisan with CMH. That meeting consisted of a handful of individuals who cared for him that night and also who have been involved with our family in various manners.

Another step in the grieving process as that day approached. 16 weeks that vary day Brisan went to CMH in a blazing fast ambulance ride. Matter of fact… seeing an ambulance running “hot”… takes on a new meaning for us. Flashbacks of me watching them pull out of the drive way thinking to myself “there aren't too many more of these rides he is going to leave and come back” and for Jenn, experiencing the “ride” down there when CMH said “get here fast”. We live about 25 mins or so from the hospital.

Arriving

As we put on our big boy “pants” and pulled into the parking garage not saying much to each other because of the tension we already felt of having to relive the night. The fear of what the answers may be and even the fear of not having any answers at all. Typically they aren't going to do an autopsy for kids with a rare disease like this. You know why they past away for the most part but not Brisan. Didn't seem to make sense although he was battered with Niemann-Pick Type C, there was something else that propelled him into his homecoming.

The Meeting

Over 2 hours we spent in that room going over how we have been, specifics of the report, and what can we do regarding Parker, our Mr. Stinky. Emotions ran high at times and other times we kept a calm outwardly approach in presentation of our feelings. Many tears were shed on different levels. The staff at CMH was nothing but professional with a huge vulnerability of wanting to know how we were; to cater towards how they can help us moving forward.

A few items we wanted to clear up was did he bleed internally? Did he have an issue from his Ileostomy surgery this past January? Did his red blood cells just “destroy” themselves in a rare occurrence? I mean, we are talking about Brisan here. Bubbas never did many things to the “normal”. He went from one extreme to another and he pulled out of those. We purely have to give God glory and thanks for those triumphs. A part of us was really worried March 3rd but Brisan had proven that we may just need that 2-3 week hospital stay to get feeling better.

Jenn was referencing at one point that Brisan past awayed 9 days before my birthday and I don't know why that was so impactful to me at that time but I nearly lost it. I pushed back my chair, head towards the ground while I tried to gather myself. That rush felt like an avalanche taking place racing up the top layer of my skin to the back of my eyes.

Autopsy Findings Read the rest of this entry »

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That Strange Feeling

Brisan Sunrays

The feeling is strange. Flat out no other way to state how Brisan not physically being here anymore feels. I think the feeling is a normal feeling because death isn't suppose to feel normal. It is a separation of your body and soul. Throw your emotions on top of that and you have the case of the “what in the world” is going on feelings.

After 90 days as Jennifer reminded me, we both nodded in agreement of “is that all”? It kinda of feels like forever ago… although the moment, the day is still very raw. The scary thoughts are you feel that you are forgetting Brisan because it is the longest period of our life that we have never physically touched and cared for him. Contrary to popular belief, it is a false feeling because that simply isn't true. A feeling that we have to reject at the gate because that is far from the truth. Sounds great, doesn't it? Practicing it is an entirely different thing.

Brisans Bed how he left itHis presence blessed our family but on a grander scale, blessed others in ways we've couldn't even fathom. His bed is essentially the same as he left our home. His pump bag is still hanging the way we left it (looking pretty gnarly though…).

As Days Progress

As the days progress, personally speaking I miss him more everyday. Thoughts at some point overwhelm me and Jennifer. Watching videos or looking at pictures have a different meaning now. I know before you would go back and watch that video and think… one day he won't be here. Bittersweet but you're never prepared. Blinded sided by a MAC truck (or Peterbuilt… whatever…). I know Jennifer feels similar.

Mothers and Fathers dream of what their children will become one day. We just didn't know that our kiddos would become inspirational leaders to others with the sacrifice of having a rare disease that would and will claim their life early. Read the rest of this entry »

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