Posts Tagged ‘Brisan Stults’

Autopsy’s In

Brisan Stults' Autopsy

Kissing Bubbas

Did you play the drum roll sound in your head? June 30th we had our meeting regarding the Autopsy of Brisan with CMH. That meeting consisted of a handful of individuals who cared for him that night and also who have been involved with our family in various manners.

Another step in the grieving process as that day approached. 16 weeks that vary day Brisan went to CMH in a blazing fast ambulance ride. Matter of fact… seeing an ambulance running “hot”… takes on a new meaning for us. Flashbacks of me watching them pull out of the drive way thinking to myself “there aren't too many more of these rides he is going to leave and come back” and for Jenn, experiencing the “ride” down there when CMH said “get here fast”. We live about 25 mins or so from the hospital.

Arriving

As we put on our big boy “pants” and pulled into the parking garage not saying much to each other because of the tension we already felt of having to relive the night. The fear of what the answers may be and even the fear of not having any answers at all. Typically they aren't going to do an autopsy for kids with a rare disease like this. You know why they past away for the most part but not Brisan. Didn't seem to make sense although he was battered with Niemann-Pick Type C, there was something else that propelled him into his homecoming.

The Meeting

Over 2 hours we spent in that room going over how we have been, specifics of the report, and what can we do regarding Parker, our Mr. Stinky. Emotions ran high at times and other times we kept a calm outwardly approach in presentation of our feelings. Many tears were shed on different levels. The staff at CMH was nothing but professional with a huge vulnerability of wanting to know how we were; to cater towards how they can help us moving forward.

A few items we wanted to clear up was did he bleed internally? Did he have an issue from his Ileostomy surgery this past January? Did his red blood cells just “destroy” themselves in a rare occurrence? I mean, we are talking about Brisan here. Bubbas never did many things to the “normal”. He went from one extreme to another and he pulled out of those. We purely have to give God glory and thanks for those triumphs. A part of us was really worried March 3rd but Brisan had proven that we may just need that 2-3 week hospital stay to get feeling better.

Jenn was referencing at one point that Brisan past awayed 9 days before my birthday and I don't know why that was so impactful to me at that time but I nearly lost it. I pushed back my chair, head towards the ground while I tried to gather myself. That rush felt like an avalanche taking place racing up the top layer of my skin to the back of my eyes.

Autopsy Findings Read the rest of this entry »

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That Strange Feeling

Brisan Sunrays

The feeling is strange. Flat out no other way to state how Brisan not physically being here anymore feels. I think the feeling is a normal feeling because death isn't suppose to feel normal. It is a separation of your body and soul. Throw your emotions on top of that and you have the case of the “what in the world” is going on feelings.

After 90 days as Jennifer reminded me, we both nodded in agreement of “is that all”? It kinda of feels like forever ago… although the moment, the day is still very raw. The scary thoughts are you feel that you are forgetting Brisan because it is the longest period of our life that we have never physically touched and cared for him. Contrary to popular belief, it is a false feeling because that simply isn't true. A feeling that we have to reject at the gate because that is far from the truth. Sounds great, doesn't it? Practicing it is an entirely different thing.

Brisans Bed how he left itHis presence blessed our family but on a grander scale, blessed others in ways we've couldn't even fathom. His bed is essentially the same as he left our home. His pump bag is still hanging the way we left it (looking pretty gnarly though…).

As Days Progress

As the days progress, personally speaking I miss him more everyday. Thoughts at some point overwhelm me and Jennifer. Watching videos or looking at pictures have a different meaning now. I know before you would go back and watch that video and think… one day he won't be here. Bittersweet but you're never prepared. Blinded sided by a MAC truck (or Peterbuilt… whatever…). I know Jennifer feels similar.

Mothers and Fathers dream of what their children will become one day. We just didn't know that our kiddos would become inspirational leaders to others with the sacrifice of having a rare disease that would and will claim their life early. Read the rest of this entry »

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Brisan’s Funeral Service & Eulogy

Brisan Duncan Parker 2013

Brisan + Duncan + Parker | November 2013

We have had a few requests for the video of the service and also a copy of the eulogy that I gave at Brisan's funeral. What is most important to note is I had an abundance of people lifting me and our family up that knew I was going to speak. The majority of our support and family/ friends did not know this. I asked the Lord to help me, to give me strength and courage, and to guide me to deliver a great message. More importantly… get through it!

So glad that I had the opportunity to do so BEFORE all the video's and songs; otherwise may not have been able to finish and plan c would have been in affect. I so badly do not want to take credit. I just wanted God to use me.

The “Moment”

Over the past 4-5 years, I've had a handful of times that this moment of inspiration and excitement played through my head. I spoke about this in January to someone and before that it was at PV Family Camp last May 2013 that I “felt” motivated. That “moment” was always centered around on a stage, in front of a crowd, but the message was fuzzy. Wasn't for sure what that meant other than the “outcome” of the message was meant to be inspiring and motivational. Another one of those moments of…I did not think this was the moment (Brisan's Funeral). When we were in the planning meeting with our pastor, he asked “do you have a good friend or someone that can do Brisan's eulogy?”. With all of us looking around, I finally spoke up and just shared that “vision” (dislike saying that word in this situation). With talking through it, it seemed that this was my mission at hand. Later that night I started to put the “pen to the pad” or in the 21st century terms… the “finger to the ipad”.

Funeral Service For Brisan

(around the 12 minute mark the service begins) (**Feb 2015 I had to update the video. I've updated the below. I had to remove the intro of the video)

Services were fantastic. There are soooooo many people to thank! Beautiful outcome, weather, and just about everything minus Brisan physically being here. With everything said, more than ever will myself and our family continue to need prayer and support. Sadly we have round 2 with Parker. I just hope his time isn't as quick.

 

 

 

 

 

Download: Word Doc of Eulogy Read the rest of this entry »

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We Love You Brisan!

Brisan Michael Stults

Brisan Michael Stults | August 27, 2004 to March 4, 2014

Many of you know that Brisan flew into the arms of Jesus at 1:55 am last Tuesday morning, March 4, 2014. We wanted to share some of the events that Monday with all of you.

Monday March 3, 2014 started off like most days in our household: me coming home from the gym getting Brisan, Parker, and Duncan ready for the day. I put Brisan in a red long sleeve shirt with gray sweatpants. Unlike most March days, we had a snow day so they were out of school.

Monday Morning

I came home a few minutes later than normal because of the snow day and not having to rush around right before 8am and that song Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen was just playing on the radio. A kind of song that you remember. I started to take care of the boys such as diapers, meds, feeds, and etc. Brisan was in a great mood as you will see or have seen in the video I so gratefully took that morning…. even laughed on camera! I told the Lord thank you after I hit stop. It is rare for us to get him on camera. They were watching scooby doo!

Video of Brisan

I proceeded to get him dressed and place him in his “old man chair” (mini recliner). A normal thing for us to do because he wouldn't try to “jump” out like Parker does. Later that morning he had a normal seizure then followed by a violent seizure.. convulsion like. Shortly after it followed by another just like it. We both looked at each other (Jenn) and was like…we've never seen this before. It was scary looking. Read the rest of this entry »

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5 Year Anniversary

Tomorrow August 8, 2013 will mark the 5  year anniversary of what we call “the phone call” regarding to Brisan and Parker's Niemann-Pick Type C disease diagnosis.

It seems that every year is going faster and faster as we move further into the the upcoming years knowing that time isn't on their side. However, we do have some good things to celebrate and not to make this post all about being sad. We will be moving soon to a new home that will allow us some positive situations. The down side is we will be giving up other things like the boys' school teachers, nurses, and even friends we became close with. The whole situation seems to be showing much favor for us. Duncan will be starting Kindergarten here next week! Their new school seems to be really “going to work” for us already. I hope that they keep that level of excitement in the upcoming future.

Since March I had started a new opportunity and have been focusing on leveraging my skills to be a key contributor to my team. Everyday I look forward to bringing my “A” game and putting a positive stamp on it. We've not had any foster kids in our home since Memorial Day weekend. It has been very nice most of the time not to have that additional responsibility… at least that is how I feel :).  Jennifer has stayed pretty busy herself.

~ Mike

 

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Pulmonology and Cough Assist Machine

Man time really flies. It is so hard to believe that in this past few weeks we have celebrated Parker’s 7th Birthday and Monday is Duncan’s 5th Birthday. It seems just like yesterday we were bringing Parker home from the NICU and Duncan from the hospital. As you all know I go BIG for Birthdays around here. We had a “Jenn style” party for both Duncan and Parker last weekend. The theme was “the Lorax”. I have to say that I think this was one of my favorite parties yet. We had a great time with our friends and family even if there was like 60 people here!

The Lorax Party 2013

The Lorax Party for Parker & Duncan – 2013

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