Posts Tagged ‘passing’

4 Years Later, I Wonder What You Were Thinking

4 years today you took your last breath here but you went Home little buddy… Mr. Stinky… our very loved son, Mr. Parker! We went to bed this very night uttering the words “Did this really happen?”.

Every year we will commemorate you and Brisan. The same and similar words will be written and changed around some but ultimately they will have the same meaning… we are grieving and saddened that your life on earth was less than others. It is vey selfish of us to feel that way but I know you and Brisan are in a much better place that is promised to us (all of us). It is just hard to understand due to our earthly thinking.  We miss you.

I always wondered “What were you thinking?”. You both had this look in your eyes that were so “deep” with meaning… so intriguing. We just relished the moments accepting what they were but “what if” you could tell us more what you were thinking? How did you guys feel? What did you worry about? What were things you really liked when me and mom were guessing what you wanted?  What were your early dreams? What sports would you have played? What activities would you like to be apart of? The list really goes on and on….

Parker Thinking

No words or actions can ever be enough to relieve pain associated with the experience of losing you and Brisan. What a blessing to be able to be your parents… your dad.. .your earthly father.

Below is Parker getting “excited” at our old house. Such a ham-hock! Miss you guys!

I Love you. Words that mean more than all eight characters could ever convey.

youtube: {https://youtu.be/sNE4vKhwKFg}

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe.

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4 Years Has Gone By Fast

Today marks 4 years at 1:55 am since you went to heaven, Bubbas. I feel we will write similar messages every year on your anniversary of your physical passing. Your joyful spirit and curious gestures were always something me and Mom reflect upon and cherish. You always had to have a finger or two in your mouth at all times!

We would say this was the hardest day of our life up until that point. It was so very much “not real” because we never left you at the hospital by yourself. Me or Mom were always there to be right by your side. Reflecting back to the day before on March 3rd, we could have never imagined this is what your homecoming would have looked like. Your passing was glorious in one right to the promises God has given us but it also invited a void that reality swept in and kicked us right in the teeth to learn how to cope without you here. It is an ongoing battle of grieving.

We all miss you and Parker dearly Brisan! I know Duncan sure does as well. I know you didn't get a chance to meet Rubee but we know she would have endeared you.

For all the things that we “dreamed” for your life here on earth, you showed us that we could love unconditionally that no one can just script.

I recall as I stood next to you on that hospital bed after you took your last breath, holding your hand, and crying looking upward towards heaven…. it felt so real. I felt you run up by my side and give me a big hug… a kind that I had to throw my right elbow up and over you so I could embrace you as back. Then you “ran” off like you were going to play. You had the biggest smile on your face… the kind that we so much remember before NPC took that away. It was so real feeling.

Me and Mommy love you.

Jennifer with Brisan and Parker

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