Father's Day for many is a joyous celebration of their pops. For some, it brings heartache that their father is no longer here. For others, it serves as a painful reminder that there was no father to fill that role.
Being a Father comes in different variations and terms. That person sometimes is not your biological father but a man who stepped up and helped fill that role. A Father is someone who loves unconditionally to a fault no matter what circumstance may present itself.
Father's & Mother's day in the Stults household has a new meaning. As of writing this, we still have both of our parents alive but with the gaping hole that we are missing Brisan & Parker, our first & second born. They each made it to 9 years of age respectively. The moto of “They only have a childhood to live a lifetime” has spoke volumes to us and so THEY DID. An unbelievable stamp of reality with bookends to mark a precious time in our lives that we will never get to experience again until our heavenly meeting.
On Father's Day, June 21, 2015…marks our first of many without our two oldest boys. In retrospect, we have much to celebrate in Duncan. He has been a caring & compassionate trooper. We love him so dearly. At a young age he had to take a bit of a back seat while we took care of his brothers. He had to watch his parents care for them in a way that many of his friends would never understand. He had to learn to “grow” up being the big brother when his role was the youngest brother. He missed out on his brother's “roughing” him up and teaching him the ropes but THEY DID. They taught him compassion, caring and understanding… to LOVE.
Being a Father has always been significant to me because it produced a bond of Love that could never be manufactured otherwise. I couldn't possibly realize the feeling without the experience of my own children. I can also say in the same breathe that losing two children in a short time also solidifies that deep Love. I think that Love is similar to what our God has for us. He died for our sins and made us a promise that if we endure during the difficult times and ask forgiveness of our sins that we will be with Him again in Heaven forever. We know Brisan and Parker are celebrating with Him. He's made that abundantly clear to us through the small glimpses of hope.
I've always looked at Father's Day as just one day out of the year of being a Dad. I knew being a Dad to Brisan & Parker after August 2008 was going to be numbered physically on earth. I am so proud that I was chosen to be their earthly Dad. It was such an incredible honor that God felt that we could take care of them for their short time on earth.
Be patient with your children while loving them and understand that their life and your life can be very abbreviated. Be awaken to the reality that perfection isn't always achievable.
Love them…take care of them….hold them tight. Spend that extra 2 minutes you'd otherwise postpone. Know that although you will try this and fail, you get up and dust yourself off to try it again. Life isn't about perfection but the ability to fail forward.
Love you Brisan & Parker. Thank you for loving me in all the ways you were able to show.