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10 Years Ago Today We Received The News

Today marks 10 years when we received the devastating news about Brisan confirming the Niemann-Pick Type C diagnosis. Shortly after, a handful of weeks later, Parker was confirmed as well. That day was so sad because we drove to the hospital and learned that our sweet boy(s) were never going to have a full life but an abbreviated one. One that was going to be filled with much heartache and devastation due to the cruelness of this horrible disease. Little did we know what was truly ahead…

To watch your sons slip away from all the things you and I take for granted health wise was quite life altering. It has ran deep in multiple directions over the course of the past 10 years and will continue to cut deep for many more. Wounds that are not healed by time but by the grace of God shouldering that burden that has left our family so riddled with deep sorrow.

Brisan and Parker, me and mommy Love You! You were such incredible young men with awesome personalities. You gave us so much joy and a passion to love you even more unconditionally.

We miss you. 🙁

Jennifer with Brisan and Parker

 

4 Years Has Gone By Fast

Today marks 4 years at 1:55 am since you went to heaven, Bubbas. I feel we will write similar messages every year on your anniversary of your physical passing. Your joyful spirit and curious gestures were always something me and Mom reflect upon and cherish. You always had to have a finger or two in your mouth at all times!

We would say this was the hardest day of our life up until that point. It was so very much “not real” because we never left you at the hospital by yourself. Me or Mom were always there to be right by your side. Reflecting back to the day before on March 3rd, we could have never imagined this is what your homecoming would have looked like. Your passing was glorious in one right to the promises God has given us but it also invited a void that reality swept in and kicked us right in the teeth to learn how to cope without you here. It is an ongoing battle of grieving.

We all miss you and Parker dearly Brisan! I know Duncan sure does as well. I know you didn't get a chance to meet Rubee but we know she would have endeared you.

For all the things that we “dreamed” for your life here on earth, you showed us that we could love unconditionally that no one can just script.

I recall as I stood next to you on that hospital bed after you took your last breath, holding your hand, and crying looking upward towards heaven…. it felt so real. I felt you run up by my side and give me a big hug… a kind that I had to throw my right elbow up and over you so I could embrace you as back. Then you “ran” off like you were going to play. You had the biggest smile on your face… the kind that we so much remember before NPC took that away. It was so real feeling.

Me and Mommy love you.

Jennifer with Brisan and Parker

3 Years Mr. Parker!!!

3 years ago today Parker you were called Home to be with your big bro and partner in crime, Brisan. This is such an intense month with celebrating your birthday, your Homecoming, and then laying you to rest. It seems just like yesterday. 🙁

Parker :(

I remember back in 2009 when we went to Florida for our Make-a-Wish trip for Brisan and you…. you guys played on Daytona Beach! You enjoyed it so much with sand in your mouth and all over your face! Brisan decided to do the smart thing and fall asleep in the chair in the shade. 🙂 We just couldn't fathom how precious the memories would be during this time. We Love You!

You played with so much “joy” and your heart was so full.

2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”

John 14:2-4 NIV

 

The boys at the start of a bath in July 2010. Parker was being a stinker with “Heyyyyyy”, Duncan being cute as a button and Brisan doing his “thang” looking gangsta with the Palm Tree hanging out of his mouth. Parker was so full of “personality” as they all 3 were. It was such an honor to be their earthly parents! Miss you guys! There are no words to describe the void that this has put into our hearts & lives forever.

Mom & Dad miss you.

[ Youtube Video Link]

 

Happy 12th Birthday Parker in Heaven!

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Parker… Happy Birthday to youuuuuuu!

Mr. Stinky… you'd be 12 years old today! Super exciting but we still can't fathom that you or Brisan are not physically here to celebrate. To be able to wrap our minds around this great void that took place when you were both called Home, is quite the journey, Son. We know that you are having one heck of a party up there!

Whoop Whoop.

Me and Mom miss you dearly with all your little grunts and feistiness! We often allow our minds to wonder what life would be like if NPC wasn't apart of our life story such as what would be things you'd be interested in, sports, and the identity that every child takes on during these years.

We LOVE YOU. Happy Birthday Mr. Stinky!

Party on!

(Watch the first 30 seconds or so. Duncan… such a funny kid!)

 

Happy 13th Birthday Brisan!

Brisan's Last Birthday

The big 13th Brisan! Happy Birthday!

This marks your 4th birthday since you have went Home. Gosh, time just fly's by but the pain and hurt of losing you (and Parker) is still a very fresh wound for all of us. It has completely rocked our world and just when we thought having/had a rare disease was life changing, the grieving side of things has equally done the same to all of us. It has altered our hearts and minds in ways that frankly we couldn't wish upon anyone losing a child.

Me and Mom have talked about what you'd be “into” being in middle school and what some of your interests may be. You'd be in 7th grade this year and Parker in 6th grade.

We are so proud and honored to be your parents. I know Duncan misses you a bunch and that you never had the opportunity to meet Rubee, Mia and Anna but we sure hope you are having one heck of a party up there!

Mommy posted this on FB:

Today Brisan would of been 13 years old. A teenager, a 7th grader and our oldest boy. There are honestly no words to describe what it is like to not have you here with us. Happy Birthday sweet Bubbas. We love and miss you very much. You and Parker have forever changed our lives.

We love and miss you bubbas!

3 Years Brisan – Still Feels Like Yesterday

3 years ago marks a fairly large amount of time but this morning at 1:55 am you took the express route home to Jesus! It still feels like yesterday to us Brisan. We so deeply miss you guys. March 3rd was the last snow day of the 2013-2014 school year. Duncan was off with his little buddy Keagan at the library enjoying his day talking about wrestling with Jesus. Little did he or us know that those plans were shaping up for your homecoming a little after midnight.

We are so grateful that we were able to capture your last morning laughing and being “Brisan” on video. Although you were just getting better off a small eye cold and seemed a bit “weezy”, you sure were in a super happy mood leading up to your last earthly day.

Shortly after all was said and done for your time on earth, our main wall clock randomly stopped at about the same time as you went Home. Ironic? Still 3 years later we have not touched and replaced the battery. It feels like something we shouldn’t do!

Our heartaches in ways we cannot ever express in words with the void that we all feel deep down inside. The what if’s of what would life be like if this never was apart of our lives (NPC) for you, Parker, and the whole family. Our family make-up would be vastly different. We secretly wonder to ourselves what kind of things you’d like to be doing for fun as a kid?

We can take away a lot from the grieving we have experienced and will continue to do so. We realize that life is short in the grand scheme of all things through this experience of losing you and Parker.

Psalm 34:18 New International Version (NIV)

18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

We went to your favorite place today to eat “cocoons” and Anna ate “peas and carrots”!

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